ThePurple Dress
by Columnist Debra Stout
The loss from our fire was real. Have you experienced a significant loss? Up until this point I never appreciated the significance of choices, I took choices for granted. I had a purple dress I really loved. This dress was unique, and I always received compliments, and it may seem petty but it made me free as if I were as free as an eagle. I got upset about losing “that purple dress.” It’s not just about losing the outfit. It’s about losing a lifestyle. Now, I wouldn’t be able to wear it ever again or to my next writer’s conference in August, a special occasion for me. I sat with well respected publishers and agents, expected to appear as a flourishing author, and looked forward to working with them. This void hurts. I can get another dress but it won’t be the same. Funny how the little things in life upset you the most.
Although I’ve been a fine artist throughout my life, I never dressed like an artist who loves a vast variety of colors. My wardrobe is mostly conservative with a splash of color because I usually don’t take risks in dressing. I wanted to be taken seriously but stand out as a non-fiction writer.
I remember when, before the fire seems like a lifetime ago. … Joyce, one of my good friends, and I were in the library at the same time one day and chatted about my upcoming writer’s conference. She suggested or insisted we go look for a new dress to wear because she wasn’t impressed with conservative suits that could make me blend in. She wanted me to be remembered as recognizable and different this time. I never knew she doubled as a fashion consultant, being a mathematician. Why did I choose a mathematician to help with my image? I agreed, jumped in her car, and we drove off. What would we find?
Although I’ve been a fine artist throughout my life, I never dressed like an artist who loves a vast variety of colors. My wardrobe is mostly conservative with a splash of color because I usually don’t take risks in dressing. I wanted to be taken seriously but stand out as a non-fiction writer.
I remember when, before the fire seems like a lifetime ago. … Joyce, one of my good friends, and I were in the library at the same time one day and chatted about my upcoming writer’s conference. She suggested or insisted we go look for a new dress to wear because she wasn’t impressed with conservative suits that could make me blend in. She wanted me to be remembered as recognizable and different this time. I never knew she doubled as a fashion consultant, being a mathematician. Why did I choose a mathematician to help with my image? I agreed, jumped in her car, and we drove off. What would we find?
We entered the store, and started cruising the dress aisles in my size. There weren’t many dresses in my size to select from and we were short on time. Flipping through the dresses on the rack, Joyce spotted one, held it up, and exclaimed, “This is it. What do you think?” Oh. I didn’t know what to say. This dress was way outside my comfort zone and looked like one a model would wear. It was thin, lightweight, beautiful eggplant purple with black and white racing stripes and sleeves like butterfly wings. It draped past my knees and wouldn’t ride up. I took a step back. I couldn’t see myself going out in this dress. Joyce saw my mouth drop open and my hesitation. “Why don’t you try it on? You may like it.”
In the dressing room, I tried it on for size first, not style. Ah. It fit perfectly which usually doesn’t happen. I moved the arms up and down like a butterfly would its wings and the sleeves swayed. Tilting my head to the side, I didn’t know if this would be distracting. Joyce and I agreed the dress looked spectacular and we strolled to the register so I could pay for this “keeper.” This was an aha moment where I stepped out of my comfort zone, was comfortable with it, and into a new style. This dress could be rolled up and thrown in the luggage and didn’t have to be pressed.
I know it’s ridiculous to mourn the loss of a dress and a purple one at that, worn on special occasions with purple being my favorite color. This dress was taken from me quickly during the house fire, not willingly given up. I laughed at myself grieving the loss of this dress. When I discovered I would never again have it to pack and wear, a tear welled up.
I know how people feel when they have a serious loss. The fire was real. It reminds you of a joy you will never experience again. I’m confident I’ll find another dress but it won’t be the same. I’ll love the new dress but it will be a different joy. I’ll wear the dress but it won’t be the same “me” I remember. It made me appreciate how much God loves me to have given me free will to make choices. It was not having a choice in the matter that hurt. God will direct me to the dress I need since He’s made it obvious I no longer need “that purple dress.” I can’t wait to see what he has prepared for me. I never appreciated my purple dress until I didn’t have it any more. Appreciate what you have now not just after you lose it.
God loved me more than the dress. He saved my life. If he had to take anything, I’m glad he took the dress instead of me.
God opens the way but you have to open your eyes to walk through it.
In the dressing room, I tried it on for size first, not style. Ah. It fit perfectly which usually doesn’t happen. I moved the arms up and down like a butterfly would its wings and the sleeves swayed. Tilting my head to the side, I didn’t know if this would be distracting. Joyce and I agreed the dress looked spectacular and we strolled to the register so I could pay for this “keeper.” This was an aha moment where I stepped out of my comfort zone, was comfortable with it, and into a new style. This dress could be rolled up and thrown in the luggage and didn’t have to be pressed.
I know it’s ridiculous to mourn the loss of a dress and a purple one at that, worn on special occasions with purple being my favorite color. This dress was taken from me quickly during the house fire, not willingly given up. I laughed at myself grieving the loss of this dress. When I discovered I would never again have it to pack and wear, a tear welled up.
I know how people feel when they have a serious loss. The fire was real. It reminds you of a joy you will never experience again. I’m confident I’ll find another dress but it won’t be the same. I’ll love the new dress but it will be a different joy. I’ll wear the dress but it won’t be the same “me” I remember. It made me appreciate how much God loves me to have given me free will to make choices. It was not having a choice in the matter that hurt. God will direct me to the dress I need since He’s made it obvious I no longer need “that purple dress.” I can’t wait to see what he has prepared for me. I never appreciated my purple dress until I didn’t have it any more. Appreciate what you have now not just after you lose it.
God loved me more than the dress. He saved my life. If he had to take anything, I’m glad he took the dress instead of me.
God opens the way but you have to open your eyes to walk through it.