The divine Messenger
by Evangelist Alex MortonI was raised in a home where I was taught to read the Bible. I was basically dragged to Church. My mother would sit on the couch and read the Word almost constantly. She planted seeds in me that wouldn’t grow for quite some time. All the same, they were planted. The issue was, when there needed to be an example of someone who lived a life of holiness, I didn’t see it. My parents did the best that they could, but my mother suffered from mental illness. It took its toll on me being the eldest of four children. We did have a roof over our heads and food to eat. Growing up, I was constantly reminded of that whenever I wanted to talk with my Father about anything that troubled me. He worked anywhere from 16-20 hours a day. I was the man of the house while he was gone the majority of the time. My mother’s mental state changed when I was about seven years old after my sister was born.
I was told that my mother had a chemical imbalance. Later in life, I learned what she had was a borderline personality disorder. I would lock my brother and sisters in a room while trying to calm my mother down during her fits; asking her what were the voices telling her today? Looking back, it had to be God that gave me the patience to deal with those long nights of talking my mom down. Suicide was always on her mind back then and I would constantly have to beg her not to take her own life. She attempted to end her life a couple times and I had to tackle her to the ground and dial 911. All this was happening before I reached the age of 10. My mom was institutionalized at least twice during my childhood. I remember asking my dad to talk about things, but he would continue |
to say that my mom wasn’t that bad. But he wasn’t the one that had to take care of her day in and day out. My grades in school suffered because of the stress. What was really tough was not being able to invite friends over because I never knew how my mom was going to be acting. The truth is my mind wasn’t on school work; it was on whether or not my mother would live to see another day. When your mom’s putting you to bed at night telling you your dad hired a hit man to kill your entire family, it’s hard to rest. On top of that sometimes she would tell me that maybe Jesus would come back tonight, and we’ll all be gone.
Those are the remarks that fueled my rebellion toward my parents and toward God. So around 12 years old, the rebellion began with smoking cigarettes, then drinking alcohol on weekends, and around 15 I smoked marijuana for the first time. I got in a lot of fist fights. In my late teens, I started experimenting with harder drugs like Oxycontin, Ecstasy, and Cocaine.
I did a lot of things to numb the emotional pain of my childhood. I had sex with a lot of women and got into a lot of toxic relationships that always ended badly. At about 16, I was invited to a Bible study at a friend’s house I had known from High School. Before that point, I’d heard about Jesus, but had never fully understood what the Gospel was. The Gospel is the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Once I had accepted him into my life, I experienced such a peace that I can’t fully explain it with words. So, I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior and I did my best to try and be obedient. That didn’t last very long, soon I began to doubt my faith. I started smoking weed and cigarettes again. There was so much back and forth at that time, I knew in my spirit that I believed, yet the world was pulling at me. I hadn’t yet dedicated myself to the Word and prayer.
Those are the remarks that fueled my rebellion toward my parents and toward God. So around 12 years old, the rebellion began with smoking cigarettes, then drinking alcohol on weekends, and around 15 I smoked marijuana for the first time. I got in a lot of fist fights. In my late teens, I started experimenting with harder drugs like Oxycontin, Ecstasy, and Cocaine.
I did a lot of things to numb the emotional pain of my childhood. I had sex with a lot of women and got into a lot of toxic relationships that always ended badly. At about 16, I was invited to a Bible study at a friend’s house I had known from High School. Before that point, I’d heard about Jesus, but had never fully understood what the Gospel was. The Gospel is the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Once I had accepted him into my life, I experienced such a peace that I can’t fully explain it with words. So, I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior and I did my best to try and be obedient. That didn’t last very long, soon I began to doubt my faith. I started smoking weed and cigarettes again. There was so much back and forth at that time, I knew in my spirit that I believed, yet the world was pulling at me. I hadn’t yet dedicated myself to the Word and prayer.
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I cried out to God one night and said, Lord, I believe that Jesus is your Son! Please confirm to me that what I believe is true. Since I had again opened the door to the enemy my mind was being tormented. I was depressed, confused, and all of the sudden uncertain about everything.
A week or two went by after I cried out to God for confirmation. The day I received the confirmation I prayed for, started out like any other day. I was in between jobs at the time and chose to live with my parents until I’d found another job. I woke up that day and ate breakfast. I laid around for a while then just decided to go back to sleep. I was awakened by my father telling me I had a friend downstairs who said he needed to talk to me. I told my father that I wasn’t expecting anyone. Many different things raced through my mind as I tried and figure out who it could be.
A week or two went by after I cried out to God for confirmation. The day I received the confirmation I prayed for, started out like any other day. I was in between jobs at the time and chose to live with my parents until I’d found another job. I woke up that day and ate breakfast. I laid around for a while then just decided to go back to sleep. I was awakened by my father telling me I had a friend downstairs who said he needed to talk to me. I told my father that I wasn’t expecting anyone. Many different things raced through my mind as I tried and figure out who it could be.
I walked down the steps and looked at the man who was waiting for me. He was an African- American man in his late 20’s and he had a gentle spirit about him. I approached him. He said, “Alex, I really need to talk to you. Can we sit down?” I said ok and we sat at the dining room table. I later learned from my father that when the man came to the door, he asked for me by name. The man said he was a friend of mine. When we sat down, he began to tell me his story. He was once a member of the Crips---a street gang. He was initiated at a young age because he had no family. He told of how he thought they loved him because the gang was the only family he had ever known. One night they let him get stabbed in his sleep. It was then, he started realizing that life wasn’t what he thought it would be.
The man told me how his entire life changed in light of an incident that had taken place one night. He was being chased down an alleyway by a rival gang member and shot 6 times in his torso and spine. The rival gang member unloaded on him and left him bleeding out. As he lay there, an old woman came up to him and laid hands on him while praying to Jesus. She told him that if he accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior he’d survive, if not he would die. The man accepted Jesus right there and he died.
On his way to the hospital, in a body bag, he was brought back to life. Not by machines or anything the doctor had done, but by Jesus himself. When he arrived at the hospital, they told him, “Sir we don’t know how you’re alive, but we have bad news.” The bad news was that he would be paralyzed for life. He would never walk again, or so they thought. In his mind, the man started to retrace the incident and what had taken place. He started to realize that the reason he was alive was because of his faith in Jesus. He believed that he would be healed. Soon after being told he would never walk again, he got right off the table and walked directly out of the hospital.
The man told me how his entire life changed in light of an incident that had taken place one night. He was being chased down an alleyway by a rival gang member and shot 6 times in his torso and spine. The rival gang member unloaded on him and left him bleeding out. As he lay there, an old woman came up to him and laid hands on him while praying to Jesus. She told him that if he accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior he’d survive, if not he would die. The man accepted Jesus right there and he died.
On his way to the hospital, in a body bag, he was brought back to life. Not by machines or anything the doctor had done, but by Jesus himself. When he arrived at the hospital, they told him, “Sir we don’t know how you’re alive, but we have bad news.” The bad news was that he would be paralyzed for life. He would never walk again, or so they thought. In his mind, the man started to retrace the incident and what had taken place. He started to realize that the reason he was alive was because of his faith in Jesus. He believed that he would be healed. Soon after being told he would never walk again, he got right off the table and walked directly out of the hospital.
After telling me all of this, he looked me dead in the eye and said, “Do you believe me?”
I said yes. “Just in case,” he said. As he unbuttoned his shirt to reveal the bullet wounds. He showed me each bullet wound while his gaze pierced through to my heart. He then took my hand and made me touch the bullet still lodged in his shoulder. This was my doubting Thomas moment and Jesus had shown me exactly what I needed to see. He then said to me, “Ask me any question and I’ll answer it.” |
I asked him a few questions that I don’t remember, except one. I asked, how can Jesus be one hundred percent man and one hundred percent God? He answered, “Whatever you do just don’t stop believing in Jesus.” He then asked if I had any more questions. I told him, I believe. I thanked him for coming and sharing his story with me. My father asked him if he needed a ride somewhere, still thinking that this man was a friend of mine. "I walk everywhere I go," the man replied. As he walked out the door, I looked over at my father. My jaw was still touching the ground. “Dad”, I said, that wasn’t my friend.
“What?” he replied. "I’m going to follow him in case he’s up to no good.”
I then asked to my dad, “How did he know my name?” We both went to the front door which was about thirty seconds after the man left. The man had literally vanished. We then drove around for two hours looking for him without seeing anyone who even resembled him. This was the experience that solidified everything that I believed about Jesus. Whether he was a man or an angel, I don’t know, but I call him the “Divine Messenger”. Because whoever he was, I know that he brought the Kingdom of God to my doorstep. Little did I know, there would be many more encounters to come.
“What?” he replied. "I’m going to follow him in case he’s up to no good.”
I then asked to my dad, “How did he know my name?” We both went to the front door which was about thirty seconds after the man left. The man had literally vanished. We then drove around for two hours looking for him without seeing anyone who even resembled him. This was the experience that solidified everything that I believed about Jesus. Whether he was a man or an angel, I don’t know, but I call him the “Divine Messenger”. Because whoever he was, I know that he brought the Kingdom of God to my doorstep. Little did I know, there would be many more encounters to come.
Believe it or not, I pushed this encounter to the back of my mind. Although I now knew that all I believed was true all the more, I wasn’t ready to change my way of life. I continued on with the back and forth lifestyle of a lukewarm Christian. Until one day, I was under such terrible conviction that I sought the Lord for three days by prayer and fasting. What had led up to this was using drugs and being in a toxic relationship. I tried to replace my love for Christ with love for a young girl, but that never works. It sure didn’t work out for me. So, there I was on the brink of suicide. I refused food and drink for 3 days. I cried out, God I believe you. I believe Jesus is your Son. Now please pour out your Spirit on me. That was the part I had been missing and I knew it. On the third day, I finally laid down on my bed. All of the sudden, it was as if someone took a pitcher of cool water and poured it slowly into my soul. I was filled with the Holy Spirit for the first time. I felt pure peace, pure joy, and this love that just consumed me. I knew at that moment I had met the one true and living God.
I wish I could say, I walked faithfully with God for the rest of my life from that point on, but that’s just not my story. Although after this experience, in my spirit, I was never the same. I began preaching the Gospel on the streets, in churches, and to anyone who would listen. The Lord was using me in a powerful way to seek and save the lost. God had spoken to me and told me that I was called to be an Evangelist. I faithfully walked with the Lord for about six years before turning away to pursue a relationship with a woman that I knew was outside of God’s will for my life. The truth is, I got sick of waiting on God’s timing. I thought I could bend the rules. You see, I want everybody to understand that when you turn away from God to pursue your own desires, you open the door to sin and dark spiritual forces.
My life became darker and darker by the day, after turning away. I began to feel God’s presence less and less until I couldn’t feel him at all anymore. In the midst of this falling away, I got married and had two children, by two different women. During those years, I started smoking cigarettes again, then weed, then taking pain pills again. Towards the end, I started selling drugs. No amount of money was ever enough for me. During that time, I was diagnosed with chronic Lyme disease and after receiving antibiotics regained some of my strength. I was told, although I had some strength back, chronic Lyme was a debilitating disease, and that I’d be in severe pain for life.
In the end, chasing after my own desires, landed me behind bars, facing up to 53 years in state prison. I was charged with 15 felonies and 10 misdemeanors. The felonies ranged from intent to deliver and manufacture, to carrying a firearm without a license. My wife stood by my side in the beginning and said, “No matter what I’ll wait for you.” As soon as I hit intake, I started praying. The Lord spoke back. Jesus and I were finally alone again. I was actually open to listening. I prayed that I wouldn’t do as much time as they were saying. I begged him to forgive me. I also said, “Lord please don’t let my kids grow up without a father, they need me!” The Lord heard me and answered my prayers. By the grace of God, I was sentenced to 9 to 24 months in state prison.
Once I had arrived, at my home jail, upstate, the visits stopped, and so did the phone calls. I mean, I made them, but my wife wouldn’t pick up. She decided to move on about three months into my incarceration. What she did wasn’t right, but I couldn’t blame her either. Our relationship was never exactly healthy. The Lord had given me a sense early on that this would eventually happen. I don’t think I ever felt as alone as I did at that point in time. Four hours from home, in the mountains, I felt so isolated and cut off from all civilization. In my darkest hour, I called on Jesus. I said, “Lord I want to follow you again with all I have. Please show me that you’re still with me.” I felt a touch from God. I was filled with the Spirit of God and with fullness of joy in the midst of despair. I was paroled after only ten months served.
When I was released, I prayed Jesus would take my pain so I wouldn’t be tempted to take narcotic painkillers again. About two months later, I woke up one morning and realized I no longer had the pain I once did. He healed me! I remind myself daily that every day is a gift from God. You can chase money, power, and pleasure, but in the end, even if you do gain those things, you’ll still be empty inside.\
I’m only alive and free today because God still had a purpose for me. You can never go so far that God can’t reach you. The enemy will tell you God can’t forgive you and that you’ve done too much, but Jesus is waiting with open arms to welcome you home.
Psalm 103:8 says the Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.
I wish I could say, I walked faithfully with God for the rest of my life from that point on, but that’s just not my story. Although after this experience, in my spirit, I was never the same. I began preaching the Gospel on the streets, in churches, and to anyone who would listen. The Lord was using me in a powerful way to seek and save the lost. God had spoken to me and told me that I was called to be an Evangelist. I faithfully walked with the Lord for about six years before turning away to pursue a relationship with a woman that I knew was outside of God’s will for my life. The truth is, I got sick of waiting on God’s timing. I thought I could bend the rules. You see, I want everybody to understand that when you turn away from God to pursue your own desires, you open the door to sin and dark spiritual forces.
My life became darker and darker by the day, after turning away. I began to feel God’s presence less and less until I couldn’t feel him at all anymore. In the midst of this falling away, I got married and had two children, by two different women. During those years, I started smoking cigarettes again, then weed, then taking pain pills again. Towards the end, I started selling drugs. No amount of money was ever enough for me. During that time, I was diagnosed with chronic Lyme disease and after receiving antibiotics regained some of my strength. I was told, although I had some strength back, chronic Lyme was a debilitating disease, and that I’d be in severe pain for life.
In the end, chasing after my own desires, landed me behind bars, facing up to 53 years in state prison. I was charged with 15 felonies and 10 misdemeanors. The felonies ranged from intent to deliver and manufacture, to carrying a firearm without a license. My wife stood by my side in the beginning and said, “No matter what I’ll wait for you.” As soon as I hit intake, I started praying. The Lord spoke back. Jesus and I were finally alone again. I was actually open to listening. I prayed that I wouldn’t do as much time as they were saying. I begged him to forgive me. I also said, “Lord please don’t let my kids grow up without a father, they need me!” The Lord heard me and answered my prayers. By the grace of God, I was sentenced to 9 to 24 months in state prison.
Once I had arrived, at my home jail, upstate, the visits stopped, and so did the phone calls. I mean, I made them, but my wife wouldn’t pick up. She decided to move on about three months into my incarceration. What she did wasn’t right, but I couldn’t blame her either. Our relationship was never exactly healthy. The Lord had given me a sense early on that this would eventually happen. I don’t think I ever felt as alone as I did at that point in time. Four hours from home, in the mountains, I felt so isolated and cut off from all civilization. In my darkest hour, I called on Jesus. I said, “Lord I want to follow you again with all I have. Please show me that you’re still with me.” I felt a touch from God. I was filled with the Spirit of God and with fullness of joy in the midst of despair. I was paroled after only ten months served.
When I was released, I prayed Jesus would take my pain so I wouldn’t be tempted to take narcotic painkillers again. About two months later, I woke up one morning and realized I no longer had the pain I once did. He healed me! I remind myself daily that every day is a gift from God. You can chase money, power, and pleasure, but in the end, even if you do gain those things, you’ll still be empty inside.\
I’m only alive and free today because God still had a purpose for me. You can never go so far that God can’t reach you. The enemy will tell you God can’t forgive you and that you’ve done too much, but Jesus is waiting with open arms to welcome you home.
Psalm 103:8 says the Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.