The Lemonade of Mental Illness |
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by Renee D. WarringMy name is Renee D. Warring and I am an author and an inspirational speaker on the topic of mental illness. Renee means warrior. Therefore, I am The Warrior Warring. I have survived four suicide attempts prior to my seeking treatment for my Schizophrenia. I am a native of Philadelphia, PA. I hold a BA in Psychology from Temple University, and I am an activist for social and healthcare issues impacting people who have mental illness. Despite my being stigmatized by society, I am The Warrior Warring against mental illness and how it is perceived by the public.
In my life, I had so many bitter nervous breakdowns that they are too numerous to count. Therefore, my life has been full of bitter lemons. My illness began to manifest itself when I was in elementary school. I was bullied, and as a result, I tried to escape the pain by daydreaming. I would isolate by refusing to play with the other children during recess. It was my custom to hold on to the fence in the school yard and daydream. The beginnings of mental illness were there, but my family did not recognize it. "My mom was indignant and also ashamed that the lady would even suggest that something could be wrong with her precious daughter." In middle school, (fifth to eighth grades), I exhibited the same isolation behavior, however, it manifested itself in a new way. Lunch preceded recess. I would eat my lunch very slowly so as to avoid playing with the other children. When I emerged from the lunchroom, recess would be almost over. After arriving on the playground, I would isolate by holding on to the fence as I had done during my elementary school years. One of the Non-Teaching Assistants took note of my abnormal behavior and told my mother about it. She suggested that my mother take me to see a psychologist to be evaluated. My mom was indignant and also ashamed that the lady would even suggest that something could be wrong with her precious daughter. Therefore, nothing was done to prevent a possible nervous breakdown. The bitterness of my mental health condition was allowed to continue.
I decided to go to a girls’ college preparatory high school. The girls in the school had high IQ’S and they also had advanced academic skills. I on the other hand, had deficiencies in my academic skills. This came about because I daydreamed during my classes in elementary school and also in the first two years of middle school. The highly competitive nature among the girls caused me to become more and more nervous, because of my increasing sense of inadequacy. One day my father came to the school to speak to the Vice Principle about my accomplishment as an orator in an oratorical contest, in which I won first place. |
The Vice Principal told my dad that she now understood how I had the strength to kept fighting to graduate from the school. It was because of my belief and trust in the Lord. She stated to my father that I was going to graduate from the school, however, she predicted that I would eventually have a nervous breakdown. My father heard her prediction but nothing was done to prevent it. My mental condition was allowed to grow more bitter as my life continued. I do understand that it was hard for my parents to accept the fact that I had mental illness. The very thought that I had the condition must have been horrifying to them so, they did not want to face the fact that their precious daughter would have a nervous breakdown. I probably would have done the same thing if I were in their shoes.
The predicted nervous breakdown happened when I was in my junior year of college. I experienced an extremely bitter and painful nervous breakdown. I could not control my thoughts. My mind was like scrambled eggs. There was a battle going on in my mind of good vs. evil. In other words, I imagined that I had committed the unforgiveable sin of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. I was terrified! In addition to the terror I was having hallucinations. This was a world of extreme anguish and pain for me. By the grace of God, I graduated from college with a GPA of 2.99. Praise God! |
"I experienced nervous breakdowns about every six months to a year."
After I graduated from college, I got a job within two months. My jobs were one long period of trial and error. I constantly searched for a job that would fit me. In fact, I had three careers, but somehow, I could not find a job that had a low level of stress. My first career was being a Spanish Teacher. I found out that teaching children was extremely stressful. My first job as a teacher I taught in a Christian high school. The children were not well behaved. Later, I went to work for the School District of Philadelphia in Pennsylvania as a Substitute Spanish Teacher. The career that I had chosen was highly stressful. As a result, I had quite a few bitter nervous breakdowns.
My second career was being a customer service representative for a well-known insurance company. Everything was going relatively well for me, but I did have a few nervous breakdowns while doing that job too. My third career was that of Case Manager. The case load proved to be too much for me. I had one hundred and twenty clients. There was no way that I could serve that many clients! It was no wonder that I experienced nervous breakdowns about every six months to a year. My working careers were very bitter ones. I had to stop working and live on Social Security Disability Income. It took me two years from the time I applied until the time I actually received the benefit.
My second career was being a customer service representative for a well-known insurance company. Everything was going relatively well for me, but I did have a few nervous breakdowns while doing that job too. My third career was that of Case Manager. The case load proved to be too much for me. I had one hundred and twenty clients. There was no way that I could serve that many clients! It was no wonder that I experienced nervous breakdowns about every six months to a year. My working careers were very bitter ones. I had to stop working and live on Social Security Disability Income. It took me two years from the time I applied until the time I actually received the benefit.
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My life took a turn for the better when I offered my body to God as a living sacrifice one day. I said to Him: “I do not know, God, whether you are going to heal me or not, but this one thing I know, I want you to get the glory out of my life!” It was at that point that God gave me the heart to help people who have mental illness. No, he did not heal me, but he made me a blessing to many people who have mental illness to give them hope that they are valuable, and that they have talents to contribute to our society.
The Lord lead me to start a ministry named: Uniquely and Wonderfully Made Ministries in which I give hope to people who have mental illness. The mission of my ministry is to educate and motivate the public to first, become empathetic towards us who have mental illness, second, to see us as equals to themselves, and third, is that they include us in the mainstream of society by ceasing to discriminate and stigmatize us. God took my bitter experiences of having numerous nervous breakdowns and use them as instruments to bring hope to countless people.
The Lord lead me to start a ministry named: Uniquely and Wonderfully Made Ministries in which I give hope to people who have mental illness. The mission of my ministry is to educate and motivate the public to first, become empathetic towards us who have mental illness, second, to see us as equals to themselves, and third, is that they include us in the mainstream of society by ceasing to discriminate and stigmatize us. God took my bitter experiences of having numerous nervous breakdowns and use them as instruments to bring hope to countless people.
To Contact:
Renee D. Warring “The Warrior Warring”
Facebook: Warring Communications, LLC
mirecovery74@gmail.com
610. 931. 2940
Renee D. Warring “The Warrior Warring”
Facebook: Warring Communications, LLC
mirecovery74@gmail.com
610. 931. 2940